Discuss a decision you share
Choose something specific and manageable: planning a weekend, dividing a household task, or deciding how to spend shared time. Start with what you each want the decision to protect. Avoid treating someone’s value ranking as an explanation for everything they do.
Two people can share a value and express it differently. Two different priorities can also fit together. A values test is not a compatibility verdict, and sharing results is optional.
A worked example: a familiar plan and something new
Riley wants a new experience on Saturday; Morgan wants a predictable, quiet weekend after a demanding week. They describe the needs behind their preferences: variety for Riley and a dependable chance to rest for Morgan.
Instead of debating who is more adventurous, they agree on one unfamiliar morning activity with a clear end time, then an afternoon at home. The agreement does not require either person to change a value. It gives them a concrete plan to try and discuss afterward.
A conversation you can use
- Describe: “For this decision, what matters to me is ___. A practical way to respect that would be ___.”
- Ask: “What matters most to you here? What would that look like in the plan?”
- Reflect: repeat what you understood and let the other person correct it.
- Create: propose an option with one concrete condition that respects each person’s needs.
- Review: agree on when to check whether the arrangement worked.
If you cannot find an agreement yet
Name the part that is still unresolved. It may concern a practical limit, an expectation, or something you do not yet understand. Taking a pause or gathering more information can be a useful next step. A worksheet does not require you to accept an arrangement you do not want.
Keep your own notes private, and share only what you choose. The Values result page can create a conversation card with selected value names without sharing answers or scores.
To explore how you tend to respond when priorities differ, try the Conflict Style assessment. For an individual decision, use the competing-priorities exercise.